I remember when I was in high school and experienced my first heartbreak. I sat there with swollen eyes explaining to my parents how much this boy and I had planned for our future together. I mean, I was young but at the time my relationship was my entire world. I remember my dad saying: “We plan, God laughs.” I don’t know why, but this small saying has stuck with me ever since. We spend so much time trying to create the “perfect” life, but we don’t assume that what we’re planning might not work out, or may not be in our best interest. We create this picture in our minds of what life should look like and we break our backs trying to make that happen. But stop for a minute. Look around, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you’re exactly where you need to be. Don’t take life so seriously, and enjoy every experience that comes your way.
When I graduated college I made my way home to New Jersey and began my career in fashion in New York City. My plan was to live and work in the city, and once Josh graduated college I had hoped he too, would make the move. No one told me that the hour and a half commute (one way) into Manhattan would take a toll, not only on my body but my social life too. And no one said that the most glamorous part of my job would be secretly trying on fur coats when no one was looking. Needless to say, I became burnt out and tired of stressing over the most materialistic sh*t. Don’t get me wrong, it was thrilling for the first year (maybe), but I grew tired of not having a life and not making enough money to live on my own. I finally reached my breaking point and decided to take a leap of faith and make the move to Boston. Josh had settled there, had a great job, was enjoying the city and its people, and I wanted that for myself too. Boston wasn’t a foreign place to me, I lived outside the city for college. I had friends there and Josh was there–it was a second home to me. I was a bit apprehensive to move away from my family, but I bit the bullet and applied to a ton of companies and had various interviews (in-person and over the phone). I actually found a place to live before I had a job. Regardless of employment, I was moving to Boston come September. And for the first time in my life, I wasn’t stressed or afraid. I remained calm, enjoyed the summer with my family and let everything take its course. I was also at a different stage in my life than I was when I was fresh out of school. I knew my worth and I wasn’t willing to settle. This whole taking a leap of faith and letting everything happen the way it was supposed to really worked. It was refreshing. So, if you’re contemplating a change or are stuck in a rut remind yourself of these 5 things:
1. Your life will never go as planned. Stop trying to plan it. Take everything as it comes and if you’re in a job you hate, you’ll realize that you’re still growing and learning. Be patient and remain positive. You’ll get exactly what you need when you need it.
2. The best things happen when you least expect it. Please, give your brain a drink. Calm your mind and stop thinking about something that you THINK you want. If you try to force something to happen it won’t–that I can assure you. Create a vision board and focus on all that you do have in your life that makes you happy. A positive frame of mind will result in a positive outcome.
3. You can always go home. Listen, we all make mistakes. If the big move to a new city or a new job wasn’t the right one. Go home (after giving it your all, that is). But yes, it’s okay. Family always has your back, so never be afraid to retreat “home” (whatever home is to you). You are much better off taking a chance and finding out that something’s not for you than you are remaining in your comfort zone.
4. A new city provides a fresh perspective. Boston is a cute little babe compared to Manhattan. I’ve never known a city so proud. The people love this state and it’s ever apparent. I’ve learned a lot from Boston and its people. Like, how aggressive driving really means not looking when entering a rotary, gunning it and hoping for the best. Um, that it’s absolutely acceptable to double park anytime, anywhere. And that while the pizza can never live up to Jersey’s standards, Mike’s Pastry’s cannolis make up for it.
5. Change is good. When I moved without any inhibition, I felt like an absolute badass. It made me realize how strong I am and that I can do anything I want if I just get out of my own way. It worked. So, scooch out of your way girlfriend and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.